VogueEmpowers -My Choice


  The cutest little boy sobs and yells “mummy”, while his mother asks him, ‘are you a girl? Boys don’t cry!’ An ad featuring Madhuri Dixit and directed by Vinil Mathew, ends with a woman struggling with her husband and the message ‘ladke rulate nahin he‘. It’s a message against domestic violence. Start With The Boys is not  groundbreaking but it’s definitely a laudable attempt to break male stereotypes .




 There’s a new VogueEmpower video which has gone viral and there’s been much hue and cry about it, over various social media platforms. Though I loved the line, ‘to wear the clothes I like even when my spirit rolls naked ‘ and ‘to pick you from seven billion choices or not’; this video featuring Deepika and 98 other women, titled ‘My Choice’, is being very harshly criticized.  I think Homi Adjani and Deepika Padukone shouldn’t have claimed that it’s a woman choice to cheat on her husband or not. It was opening up a can of worms that our society is not ready to deal with.




Many questions arise from the criticism this line has received. Such as-Why do people cheat? Are humans supposed to be monogamous in the first place? Many studies claim that monogamy is unnatural.

 If we are supposed be monogamous, then Pray tell-Why is a cheating man hailed as a stud and a woman who chooses to look for love and appreciation outside her current setup termed as a whore, ostracized by her own family and friends? Why are women supposed to be subservient to men and why are their emotional, as well as physical needs, considered to be unimportant and unnecessary? The previous generation of married women could deal with being treated like furniture, while their husbands pranced around town with other women. Generation Y does not put up with it! But our society isn’t ready for these questions and is definitely not equipped to deal with the current state of marriages and relationships. It wants to pretend that a woman who comes home at 6 pm is a sati savitri and the one who returns home at 4 am is upto no good.

A number of women have written against, ‘My Choice’ . One claims, it only caters to a small class of women from ‘priveleged’ backgrounds, who are unconcerned about education, healthcare, money etc.  Though, the article by Piyasree Dasgupta on ‘Firstpost’, makes many legitimate points, I find such remarks on women incredibly, disturbing. If the video pitches men and women against each other, remarks like these divide women into ‘the haves’ and the ‘have nots’ and apparently the demographic that has, has no right to be spoken for. The privileged it seems, are not supposed to have any opinions and God forbid they should have any choices!

Chitra on Feminism

Chitra Kalyani

Chitra Kalyani





Chitra Kalyani is a single woman who currently resides in New Delhi, a city she painstakingly explores and writes about. She previously studied and lived in Egypt. A freelance journalist, this Dilli Ki Billi is the founder of Delhi Live Events Guide. Currently, she holds the position of relationship manager at a Yoga studio and researches on mental illnesses.


What are your views on feminism?

I’m not sure I understand the question. If this is about whether or not I opt to be called a feminist – of course I’m for equal rights. Everyone should have one view of feminism: to support it.

 If there was a code of conduct for women (like the bro code) what according to you should be the rules?

The bro code usually has to do with how the game changes when women are around. I think a “sister” code would be for us to be supportive and encouraging of each other’s efforts, and to give guidance that is clear – including tough love. But at the foundation, to always give from a place of love.

Tell me about one woman who has inspired you ?

My English teachers have always been inspiring – probably why I ended up choosing to study the subject. They were perfectionists when it came to things like spelling, grammar, essay structure – their work; but when it came to an attitude towards you, I found them gentle. Without that, a genuine interest in literature and arts could not exist. I had at least two female English teachers in high school.


The Feminine Code by Chitra Kalyani

The Feminine Code by Chitra Kalyani


© Photo- Kailash Kalyani