After a few hours of fretting and fuming, my very wise friend puts everything in perspective. “Can we do anything about it?” “No”, I reply. “Will it change anything?” he asks. “No”, I say timidly. “But”, I interject and start again with the verbal diarrehoea. A few more minutes of venting my nonsense on this long distance call and I feel better.
A while later he laughs, “there’s a way in which someone needs to calm you down. One practical word when you’re upset and your reaction will be like that of a grenade going off. Say the same thing, once you’ve screamed and cried…you’ll listen to anything.” Wow! I think to myself, good luck on having a long term relationship with a man. But for now I have the sweetest friend.
A restless night later…I’m on a different train of thought. What if we could just forget the people who caused us pain? If we ever did bump into them, wouldn’t it be easier to meet like strangers, as if for the first time, without the burden of the past? With no expectations, no memories…nothing. They say time heals all wounds. I don’t agree. A scab forms over it…but a slight pressure on the same place and the wound is exposed, again. Sometimes, a wound just festers. Each time I bump into someone from my former life, I’m reminded of the ostracization. I think it’s more convenient to have a bad memory. Wipe the slate clean. Drop it all and live as if nothing existed before the present moment.