The Wall

Happy birthday! Thank you for taking such good care of my mum, in the hospital and at home. She loved the crystal pieces , you bought for her. She loved you and GD a lot. I know she made you promise, that you would take care of me. I think she had a premonition, it would get this bad.

She must be heaving a sigh of relief, seeing you and my bua, fussing over me, like mother hens. For checking up on me every single day (for the past month) , reading the fatiha for my mum’s soul, for watching me break down in pieces, yet letting me be and for saving my life again, thank you. You have literally saved my life more times, than I count, now. Sometimes, I think, if anybody, anybody, saw me as weak and broken as you have seen me, I would have gotten royally screwed.

Thanks for being so good to SC and somehow, miraculously knowing how to deal with SB. That makes you a rarity. Thank you, for never wanting to win my trust. For saying, ‘I know you can’t trust anyone, it’s ok. No problem.’ For explaining this to another man, how should I thank you?

While people have tried to be my kandha ( especially now, when I am vulnerable) you are my wall. Someone who stands between me and the world, while I cry, scream, panic and sort myself out behind the bricks, that act as protection. For letting me be, for letting me weep, for keeping me sane and more than that for keeping me alive, thank you.

P.S- Yeh sabh padke zyaada hava mein udna ka nahin, he mamu and I know you find SB hilarious but don’t you laugh like a jackass, mein tenu paan deyanga!