Five days on the couch, with a rat (I can’t get my hands on) for company and the only thing that keeps me going is work and memories. One minute I am in Pushkar, sitting on the terrace of the only place I stay at, the next minute I am sitting by the side of the Dal. In a blink of an eye I am driving down the Western Ghats as it rains.
Worried relatives and friends message. It’s sweet, that they think this would be hard for me. Four stories of silence, with just me, in the building, in a containment zone, feels like cakewalk compared to most people’s company, at the moment.
The workers try to scare me. ‘Didi sat baje ke bad bhoot aate he!’ The building down the road, had burnt down a few years ago. Many more than were reported, died in that fire. Ever since, it has been constructed and furnished, again. But people find it hard to work, there. Well, thank God for tanhai and the rat, they’ll protect me!
Between doing dad’s work and figuring out what to do about mine, one has started to feel a little bit like one’s self. On the photography front, everything is at a halt, at the moment. Kashmir, is out of reach, the exhibitions which were lined up for the coming year, I don’t know if they will actually take place…..one does have to start working on one of the books. Let’s see how everything plays out.
Anyhow, a friend called up to check up on me and I had a realisation about human relationships. This is a person who has always been incredibly nice to me but on the other hand has some not so nice things, to say about most people. Therefore, many a times, I get to hear what she’s said about me, too. I realised after speaking to her today, that the reason one never gets furious with her, ever, is because the good that she does, all outweighs the bad that she speaks.
It’s convenient for me to ignore what she says because she makes up for everything, with what she does. That’s not what you can say, about most people. So, we may be all idealistic or just hyper sensitive ( like the shrink, astrologer, teachers, boyfriends have claimed I am) but we are all creatures of convenience. We ignore what is convenient for us to ignore. I wish I could push that spot more often, keep SC hidden, forever or maybe at least keep her on a leash.