2020

What a strange year it is! More and more people seem to be passing over to the other side. Saroj Khan passed away and a friend’s mother left on her final journey, today morning. Loosing a family member is tough for anyone but when you’re unmarried and have lived with your parents, there’s a separate kind of codependency, only someone who is the same boat, would be aware off.

Standing in my friend’s driveway, reminds me how lonely this feeling is and my heart goes out to her. She’s no longer going to have someone she can go out with, have a chat with at the end of the day, tell her worries to. After a while, when it’s just going to be her dad and her, the silence is going to be deafening. I don’t know how to make her feel better, all I say to her is, ‘ I am glad your brother is here!’

As I leave, I wish she finds a partner. Strange to hear this from me? Well, after my mum passed away, I realised that at times like this you need a companion and a bird in the hand is better than four in the bush because the one’s in the bush ain’t going to hold your hand, through these trying times.They might want to but no one is going to be able to.

So, husband or not a companion is needed once in a while and like SB will tell you, ‘ whiskey, bidis and fucking are the only ways to deal with loss…might not make the pain go away but definitely makes it bearable’. Since SC has been sent into exile, there’s no talk of love of course. It’s been twenty years, since I was ‘officially’ someone’s girlfriend- meaning no one has introduced me to friend’s and family as being his partner. The last lovey dovey pics I have are with the guy I dated then. No one has walked into a room holding my hand, there has been zero public display of affection, ever since. No, staycations at Western and definitely no foreign trips. Suddenly, one realises one needs all this, now. How, may vary, SB wants it for the short term since she doesn’t trust anyone and SC for the long haul, since she is an incurable romantic.

I hope my friend finds someone soon. Otherwise, this going to be too hard to deal with, all by herself.