Amma,

You popped up on fb wall, early in the morning. Your most loved picture from 2016, the platform reminded me. It would have been nice, if I would have posted all our pictures together, every week, I would get a reminder. That would have been sweet but each time, I posted a picture, you would fall ill. Then like an 80 year old woman, I would stand over you, read some Islamic prayer, ‘I seek refuge from bad vibes’. How much you would yell at me for being so superstitious? The argument would with, ‘Am I your baby or are you my baby?’ and you in the cutest way, anyone can reply would say, ‘ I’m your baby!’

Baby reminds me, your original Mother Hen, your sister is missing you, lots. She saw my DP, in the morning and sent a message that if you were alive, she would have asked you to grow up. So, much for wishful thinking. That’s why we liked them young, we never want to grow up! The classic Peter Pan syndrome.

Though, we hardly speak there’s a part of me, that feels terrible for her. This much loss, no one should have to suffer. One after the other, watching people die. Loosing Dustu and you, has shaken me to the core, imagine going through this, repeatedly. Uff, Khudda Reham kare sab ke dilo pe. It’s a pity, things ended the way they did between us. There should have been a natural transference of feelings, which usually happens, in such cases. But in our case, your loss has just driven a terrible wedge. Time heals everything, they say. Here’s hoping! I guess, with time my anger also, will transform into all that I keep avoiding feeling and I’ll stop being angry, with everyone including, myself. But maturity level to hamara, kamaal ka he, so you never know.

Anyway, I’ve been unable to sleep for days, now. Something, is really bothering me, I just can’t put my finger on it. You have any clue? Something you can see from your vantage point? I just want to hold you so tight and sleep right now. How I wish, I could hear the words, ‘ Hai, hai chipkoo!’again.