So, the poor soul, who my relatives have dragged into the drama called my life, has arrived. You see ever since I was little, everyone was convinced I would elope with a Muslim man. That he’s my friend eludes them. Badd se badnaam bura, aur hum to badd bhi hein aur badnaam to hum alag he level pe he. Not their fault, society ke rules ne, itni life inki boring bana rakhee he, they’re just playing out their fantasies through me, vicariously you see. I’m going to go hell, for being such a bitch? I’m going there in any case, love, hop on!

Let me put it like this. Once upon a time there was Cat. Now, the cat eat a few mice ( not that the mice were perfect but you see the cat, is always easiest to blame and of course she is a bad cat). So, then the cat played with these two very naughty mice, who were as great at juggling as she was and after them stopped going after mice, completely. Now, how will anyone ever believe there is no mouse? No one has ever seen the cat without a mouse and six years without one, is unimaginable ( trust me even for the Cat) So, these days every mouse, who even enters her vicinity, is looked at suspiciously. Either, some past escapades are discussed or if not some are imagined. In conclusion, this Hajj has been of no use to the Cat.

Sometimes, I tell myself, I shouldn’t say these things and definitely not write them. But you see, all these stories on repeat are boring the crap out of me. Bore mat karo, life bohat choti he and don’t drag some innocent boy, into my drama. Poor thing, has been down graded to the worst things possible, apparently he’s eloping with me, is making a fool of me and wants my dad’s money. It’s hilarious and extremely infuriating- a man who does more for his family and me, than most of my super wealthy relatives can do for anyone (I’m not talking about barters, here) has been reduced to being a conniving prick. You want to meet, Islamophobic, racist, classist creeps? Padhariye, aap ko milaye! These are horrible things to say about a man, who has saved my life, on many occasions. His sin, he knows me too well and still chooses to be my closest friend. Plus, he’s fiercely protective, inherently loyal and unimpressed by wealth, which is unforgivable.

After my mum’s death, people were trying to manipulate my dad so much, that I got sick of it and said ‘I’m leaving!’. Like a fool, I said to one of my relatives, ‘ I’ll go to Bombay or Dubai’. I wanted to say Kashmir but that would have set another ball rolling. Now, if Shetty was Muslim or didn’t have money, the story would have been, spun differently. But all hell, broke loose and this poor fellow, has to deal with it.

He, on the other hand is totally bewildered by my current state and the lack of restraint I am showing, towards the new fascination. This is how well, he knows me.

I called him the other day- Acha listen I am going!

He: To meet M.J ? ( M.J is not the pathan’s real name, it’s just something he called himself once)

Me- Ya, how do you know?

He: I know! (Guessed it from my fb story, I’m telling you) Call me, when you get back, okay?

He was pulling my leg , ‘ kele ke chilke pe to aap ne phisalna he, phislo!’

Me- I’ve slipped so many times, once more will not matter? Plus, you’re there to pick me up if I can’t get up.

He- Shaking his head. Theek he!

Irrespective, of all the crap that is going to be flung on me, I’m so glad he’s here, as this terrible year comes to an end. Most people, most of the times, make me anxious. One’s always been what they call ‘ highly sensitive’ and I call it my ‘ zero threshold for bullshit!’, which translates into, I recognise games very quickly and my classic move is to play, whatever game is being played. But it makes me anxious, it pisses me off and if I’m winning it, I’ll be furious. Though one doesn’t mind playing a game, one hasn’t played before, purely for the experience.

But there are very few people, who don’t play games with me, one can’t and this one is two steps ahead of me, always. He knows there’s going to be no end to it and nothing good will come out of it. Which makes me very comfortable and totally at ease, with him.For someone to see the devil in me and not get intimidated by all my bad stuff is a rarity. For someone to be able to scare that part of me, just a little bit, with sheer mental agility and quiet dominance is brilliance. For all of that, right now, one feels glad and blessed. So, this week, is going to be all about hogging, crying, laughing and being totally silly. God knows, I need a break from my head and my heart!