Woke up missing you, desperately. Maybe, it’s because the father is freaking me out a bit. Yesterday, he got damn emotional. Ever since The Wall, has landed in India, he’s been going on and on about marriage. Last night, he was trying to convince me again, with these reasons, ‘ This is India, women can’t live all alone in this society.’ My reply to which was pointing out all the women we know of, who are unmarried. To which his reply was, ‘they all have siblings’. Obviously, I hate being reminded of that.
As far as the boy is concerned, I think because the Father knows how difficult I am, he likes the fact that this one is even tempered and not perturbed by me (at all) Plus he argues, ‘ you’re not speaking to anyone in the family since you’re mum has passed away. I worry no one will be there for you, if I fall ill or if something happens to me! How will you manage, everything? There’s too much to take care off!’
‘ I’ll manage’, I lie through my teeth. Some nights I get anxious thinking about it. It scares me too but you know I don’t let fear dictate my life choices. Other than marriage of course, which I fear more than death, itself. For the rest of my life, I will have to sleep in the same bed and look at the same face, every single day and you know, how I am in love- a clever man can make me do anything . How long will I fool , someone with SB and you know how clingy SC, is? Thanks but no thanks!
Let me just shift the blame on you, please na, for one minute. You guys have spoilt me rotten, you and our mother. First of all, no man looks at me like you did, second no one is going to be smiling, singing, dancing nor kissing me, when I enter the house, like you and our mother did. I’m not going to get enough hugs and looking at married people, I’m guessing I’m not going to get laid enough. I can’t tell people this, na, that once I hit menopause, maybe then? The prudes will just faint!!! Those Brahmakumaris were trying to convince me, a few years ago, that women don’t feel the need to do it after a certain age. High hopes! As far as how things will be managed, we survived our very interesting childhood, heartbreaks, you died I learnt to live with that, mum died and I am still managing! So, let’s see. Baki Khudda to hai hi, each time someone leaves, he sends someone to help me deal with it. Whatever shall be, shall be!