Day 14

One ends the fourteen days with gratitude- for the healing and for life, as the cases in India begin to decline and the positivity rate in Delhi has come down to 14%, the lowest since April 14th. Disclaimer- not enough people are being tested, yet the lockdown has been beneficial, there seems to be no shortage of oxygen, either. The shutting down of activity will be carried on till the thirty first, so that’s a good thing.

Just need to get my antibodies tested in a week or two so that one can decide about vaccination. Though, there’s nothing to decide now, is there? The NTAGI : National Technical Advisory Group on Immunisation has asked people who have recovered from Covid, to defer taking the jab for six months, from the day of recovery. When they’ve run out of vaccines, the authorities have to come up with innovative techniques like this and extending the time between the two shots. Like I said to someone today, anyone who has enough money, should plan their exit strategy away from this mess: the bhakts and the chaos.

Anyhow, as for me, I’ll probably remain the frog in the well, for now, as one has no offsprings, to worry about. The thought that consumes one these days, is of being electroencephalographically challenged and in that moment realizing that one has failed in trying to be a better version of oneself. One does make most decisions based on the final hour, yet the impulsiveness of one’s nature, the ability to blurt out the hurtful things, when cornered is one’s greatest flaw. When one doesn’t think and that side of one, which is great at self preservation fiercely either attacks or withdraws, goes into the classic fight or flight response, that is something that needs to change. Trust me, one tries and fails repeatedly.

Anyway, one is good at failing and trying again. This lone time gave one the opportunity to reach out. It began with one wanting to cut down on excessive interactions from this constant bombardment of depressing forwards. It ends with wanting to be less triggered by the actions and especially words of other individuals. Of course, after much deliberation one’s realized that some things remain better broken: to expose oneself to constant negative labelling, can have a terribly damaging effect on one’s mental well being. The campaign that’s been going for a year can run, one’s good, from afar, not wishing any one anything other than the best but from a distance. The hypersensitivity that one’s been told one suffers from can be and should be used more productively, so here’s hoping to do some good, before one kisses the world adieu!

So for the next few years at least, one plans to tell people one loves them ( I hate I love yous but I have this need to say it these days, still hearing it makes me uneasy), reach out to as many people as one can and to send flying kisses to random strangers. If you have someone you love, be with them and with your families. One’s heart has been divided and occupied for so long, that it’s being unable to. But if one survives the next two years, one’s promised oneself that one will truly try. I will go on a Tinder dating, rampage after that. Love, hump, do what you want but please think about your kid’s futures…assign someone to take care of them, Incase of your sudden demise.