One tuned all of 42 years old today and one still remains as big an ass as one was, when one was fourteen. Last week, I’d made many plans for this week, one was going to catch up with some friends, make some stuff, spend a day on the road and then the melancholy mixed with pms got the worst of me!

So I stayed in bed for a few days, cried incessantly, drank loads and even popped some pills to calm down the nerves. One usually, stays a little away from both these poisons, considering the genetic disposition as well as my system’s inability to manage either but one underestimated the severity of pent up feelings and then bam, they came to shake me up a little, actually a lot. Of course, the first thing one does when one is hurting is, pushing everyone away. Most people are easy to push away, some though, unfortunately by now, know me too well, so one has to lie to them. ‘What are you doing?’ ‘Sleeping’ remained one’s standard reply till last night. I think, if it wasn’t my birthday today, I would have carried on with the nonsense for a couple of more days, maybe weeks.

Last night, a friend called up to wish me and cut a cake, virtually, of course one look at my eyes and he knew. One was not only touched by the number of calls he made, to figure out when my phone’s on but also by the cake and the lecture one got. It helped me drag myself out of bed today. Got the sweetest surprise of my life, the father had bought a bunch of red roses for me with a bottle of wine. If it doesn’t seem like a lot to you, my dear here’s someone who shakes my hand to wish me on my birthday every year! Twelve, red roses from Dad! Precious! They just blew the melancholy away.

Spent the day with the men at home, drinking and eating. As night befell and the father tried to convince me to take the driver along and to spend a night away from home, rather than coming back the same day, the bell rang. My dearest friend Afy, had sent her guard to check on me, as my phone was switched off. I was totally confused and really touched. Of course, I made up some crap, that I was running a fever, I wasn’t well, that’s why my phone was off! Sometimes, it’s better to lie, than to tell people exactly what’s going on in your head. Hopefully, a day on the road, even if it’s with the driver, will fix my head and soon one will be a good as new!