Diwali went of as soundlessly as it does. With my father’s brother passing away a few months ago, the house was dark and quiet. But Death put a damper on Diwali, twelve years ago. Occasionally, we try to make the effort to celebrate it the way we used to, a few parties here and there. The mad fervour with which we celebrated everything is of course, missing.
The Mother and I head off to our customary celebration. Our mutual ‘manlessness’ makes our bond closer, me all footloose and fancy free, she with her absentee husband, makes both of us rely more and more on each other to make festivities count. We put on our matching attires, ate to our hearts content and posed for the camera. Someday she’ll be gone and these photographs are all I will be left with.
When God closes a door he opens a window! The very year I was ostracised, was the year I went to Zorba for a Sufi workshop. That’s where there was an instantaneous gravitation of four individuals who belonged to different age groups and mindsets towards each other. I suspect we all go through our lives trying to fill a void. What we assume is a void which has been created by the loss of loved ones, friends, even youth and time is nothing but the void created through the separation from the creator. Of course all these are theories, who the hell knows what it is! Whether the rest of them were drawn towards me because of that I don’t know but one has since adolescence been most comfortable with male friends and older female friends. The individuals who have played the parts have changed over time, the roles have been constant. All three just fit in perfectly into my existence.
Needless to say, we’ve all become a part of celebrations- From birthdays to Diwali and New Year, we just look for an excuse to make merry. And so we did! Roamed around aimlessly looking for a place to eat. From Greater Kailash to Kailash Colony to G.K-2 to CP, the only options open were coffee shops and of course Saleem’s and Relax. In CP, there were just the Pure Veg Options, Rajasthali, Rajdhani and Swarana Bhawan. The trip to Cp wasn’t entirely futile. People were lighting Chinese lanterns and of course one managed to burn a finger in the process. A quick bite at Karim’s (Nizamuddin) later, the evening ended on the most nostalgic note when I was gifted a crystal with a photograph of me and who will remain the love of my life. Tere Bina Zindagi Se Shikava To Nahin….